“ Look, I’m in no mood to argue right now. So why don’t you and your little girlfriend take your shit and get the fuck off of my train.” The man said throwing Gray-eye’s bag at him. The train rolled into another stop and we both got off silently and quickly. “Come on, Maybe we can get you on another car!” gray-eyes said, grabbing my hand. But no sooner did he say the words did the train pull off. “I am so sorry about that.” He said, his beautiful eyes filling with remorse. “ I feel so bad” he went on. “ Oh its not your fault. Some people are just fucked-up like that.” I said, hoping he would take notice to my adult choice of words. “ But still, I want to make it up to you. How about I find us a cab. I’ll pay.” He offered. “ Oh no. Its okay the next train comes in about 45 minutes I can wait.” I said. Something about riding in a car with this man made me nervous. “No I insist. Where do you live?” I opened my mouth to refuse again but I gave in and told him that I lived. Once or twice he dreamed of kissing her and stroking her back. Even in dreams, it seemed, he could go no farther. After one of those, it might take him weeks to recover. But they did not come often. Most days, he simply tried not to think about her, and for the most part, he succeeded. He lived his life. He learned to listen to talk radio and not the music stations, to avoid certain movies, to beware of thinking too hard about love or relationships or women with pretty hands and feet. And so much more. He was not happy, for that could never be. He had had to shut down too much of his life and not look in too many places that he knew would hurt him. But he was content. He lived alone, and found ways to get from one day to the next and smile and laugh. His friends and students thought him sweet and funny, and they liked him. He no longer even tried to date. He taught his classes, graded his papers, had friends, and was functional. He was doing all right. And then he saw a movie. .
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